There are few things in life that I find comfortably stable. It comes, then, at no surprise to people when I tell them about the 8-odd times I moved around during my childhood, or that I routinely sign up for at least 19 or 20 courses every term before settling on a schedule I deem acceptable, or that I’m still trying to sort out the direction my life is going to take this time next year after I’ve graduated.
(For the record, I’m pretty sure that this time next year, I still won’t have an answer.)
But I find myself at ease when I consider some things that never change. The assurance of the sun rising in the morning, no matter how many philosophy courses attempt to persuade me otherwise; that 90+ degree weather is utterly atrocious, and more often than not will lead me to refuse leaving my apartment; that when it comes to good music to listen to on long, solitary drives, no school is better than old school.
And, of course, that my mum’s love of fruit curd brooks no argument.
Some mornings I wake up, totally determined to go to the gym, do some pilates, head off to work wide awake and cheery, spend the day getting my fix of fruits and veggies, and head to bed early for a full night’s sleep. They are wonderful days, to be sure, mostly spent reading in between work and interning with a cup of iced coffee and a mind totally at peace, well-fueled and clear.
(It may seem uncanny, but I actually genuinely enjoy being healthy.)
And then other days I wake up, go to the gym, do some pilates, head off to work wide awake and cheery, get home, flip straight to the Euro Cup, bake a pie, and crash down onto the couch to watch the game with my feet on the table and a bowl of leftover peanut butter filling in hand. Fruits and veggies be damned.
Today was one of those days.
Sometimes I feel way older than my twenty years. You’d think it was because I’m spending the summer at the apartment on my own, having now set up a system to go grocery shopping every 4 days, vacuuming once a week, planning home cooked meals around when I get home from work/interning, and generally having to be a functioning, self-sufficient person.
But you know, I figure, it’s about time I was left utterly and solitarily to my own devices, considering last year of college is looming and soon I’ll be unpreparedly thrown into the world of actual adulthood. Not that some days aren’t lonely, mind you, but that’s what friends-taking-summer-courses-on-grounds are for. So, actually, it’s been absolutely wonderful. I’m gone most of the day as it is (‘professional obligations’ and all that), so I revel in the time I have to myself here.
…Really, I’m just glad I finally have some time to read a damn book.